this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed   !

sepehr g. t h r e a t e n s  m e with the loss of his readership

sepehr i would love to lose you as a reader, unfortunately insults don't seem to do the job ! :o)

ironing out our  “ cognitive failures ”  is a lifetime's work that begins when you start !

you are intelligent but not a top rate mind, the gap is your  “cognitive failures”  and you are reluctant to address that

it is to my regret that i have always been so slow on addressing my own cognitive failures !

sepehr g. t h r e a t e n s  m e with the loss of his readership

sepehr i would love to lose you as a reader, unfortunately insults don't seem to do the job ! :o)

ironing out our  “ cognitive failures ”  is a lifetime's work that begins when you start !

you are intelligent but not a top rate mind, the gap is your  “cognitive failures”  and you are reluctant to address that

it is to my regret that i have always been so slow on addressing my cognitive failures !

sepehr g. t h r e a t e n s  m e with the loss of his readership

sepehr i would love to lose you as a reader, unfortunately insults don't seem to do the job ! :o)

ironing out our  “ cognitive failures ”  is a lifetime's work that begins when you start !

you are intelligent but not a top rate mind, the gap is your  “cognitive failures”  and you are reluctant to address that

it is my regret that i have always been so slow on addressing my cognitive failures !

like epilepsy ,  migraine  has quite a wide spectrum of presentation  !

like epilepsy,  migraine  has quite a wide spectrum of presentation  !

like epilepsy,  migraine  has quite a wide spectrum of presentation !

sepehr g.  w r i t e s

I don't like neuroscience anymore though, and I want to become a part of the zeitgeist for helping the environment, hence my desire for going for a Phd in a field for that.

my

r e p l y

the problem is the human species, the more comfortable you make things for it, the more it breeds into the space created which it then fills with its trash, inanity and misguidedness !

sepehr g.  w r i t e s

you can really judge how competent of a scholar one can be based off limited interactions on the 7thzenpatriarch blog

my

r e p l y

lol, isn't this what i have been saying tho i am sure you misspelt can't as can . .

in fact competency is a lifetime's work

the  “ global workspace ” theory of conciousness is a development of the last forty-five years, i got interested and through you tube videos have looked fairly intensively at the leading scholars in the field, men who have devoted their lives to this work and one gets a real sense of quality scholarship and actually men well along in their lives  . .

the point being to be a leader in an academic or research field requires the complete attention of a lifetime, the question is whether one wants or is prepared to do that ! :o)

i n f i n i t y  interests me more ! :o)

‘ kantian fractionalization ’  is the number of cliques the world is split up into and how easy it is to isolate those cliques from one another

students must fit into their teachers projections !

in fact you can only pass if you do this, otherwise you are failed !

students must fit things into their teachers projections !

in fact you can only pass if you do this, otherwise you are failed !

sepehr g. w r i t e s

there are a lot of   notable   iranian Americans in Science/academia, notably physicists :

I can do anything I set my mind to as long as I consider it important, ethically, and it doesn't involve too much high-level math

my

r e p l y

“ here are a lot of notable iranian americans in science/academia ,  notably physicists ”

you have cognitive style problems that leaves a gap between them and you

philosophically speaking ,  it's like deleuze is your level and not derrida or heraclitus !

you know this lack of rigour is so because you are so sensitive to the criticism, this is what i mean by a lack of solitude and not being self aware !

this is very different from saying you are unintelligent  !

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years ,  your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal ,  i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

you are not self aware ,  no solitude and  it  shows  !

this lack of rigour and looseness is very apparent in this exchange so far.  i got to this stage with zakaj, he was just very loose and assertive and expecting me to work it all out for him

am i going to spend my days sorting out your mistakes, not that you hear anyway !

what good does it do to argue ?  is that going to affect the reality of who you are !

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years ,  your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal ,  i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

you are not self aware ,  no solitude and  it  shows  !

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years ,  your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal ,  i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

you are not self aware ,  no solitude and it shows  !

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years ,  your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal ,  i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

you are not self aware ,  no solitude and it shows !

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years ,  your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal ,  i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

you are not self aware, no solitude and it shows !

“ but my best essay is in my laptop that is currently being repaired due to spilling coffee ”

lol

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years ,  your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal ,  i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years ,  your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal ,  i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

i am thinking of our exchanges  (ed.  with sepehr g.)  over the years, your approach to what zen is about is too loose so you go through cycles of approach and withdrawal, i am waiting for the next withdrawal or maybe this is it now ?

sepehr g. rejected my saying he lacked intellectual rigour citing his neuroscience degree, research experience and high GPA scores

my

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you feel insulted, so you can't look rationally at my criticism !

it took me twenty years to learn rigour, tease out all the relevancies and crossing every last t and dotting every last i !

your health is the first thing, if you don't have health you don't have anything !

actually optometery is not so bad, not breathing everyone's breath like for dentistry or meeting 20 ill people a day like a doctor or medical personnel !

your health is the first thing, if you don't have health you don't have anything !

“ i have taken almost every wrong turning in the book ”

“ life is a wrong turning ”

“ i have taken a lot of wrong turnings ”

“ life is a wrong turning ”

“ i'm a 20 year old male who has been smoking for a year and usually go through 10 a day, any advice on quitting cold turkey ”

my

r e p l y

draw up a taper off schedule over two or three weeks then stick to it !

going cold turkey is destructive and in some ways a mini stroke, you need to give time to allow the genes to readjust !

nothing  wrong  being a brick wall ,  I am sure they are interesting to themselves  !  : o )

nothing  wrong  being a brick wall ,  I am sure they are interesting to themselves !  : o )

nothing  wrong  being a brick wall ,  I am sure they are interesting to themselves ! : o )

nothing  wrong  being a brick wall ,  I am sure they are interesting to themselves ! :o)

“ PM2.5 is fine airborne particulate matter with aerodynamic diameter smaller than 2.5 micrometers

It is a complex mixture of particles and gases from gasoline and diesel engines, together with dust from wear of road surfaces, tires and brakes

PM2.5 is the major and most  toxic component  of air pollutants in the real-world air environment of intensive traffic or industrial activity

Recent epidemiological studies confirmed that populations exposed to high-level PM2.5 are at a higher risk of developing heart disease and metabolic disease ”

often one wonders what the input of the father is in a child, but this picture of angelina jolie clearly shows her father ,  john voight in her face

the nutshell of stephen hawking's   proposal   is that relativity and quantum mechanics are reconciled by information not actually being destroyed in the center of a black hole, but by garbling of the information from a  “ super translation ”  into a hologram on the event horizon and further emission via hawking radiation back into the universe

so effectively information is and isn't destroyed, and this is the essence of zen and great writing, that the garbling process becomes a coding and in effect can then be decoded . .

this is why quality mysticism is so hard, the encoding and decoding process requires you don't separate this enquiry from your life

you and what you do are the encoding/decoding

this is also the case with great writing . .

since religion is a faux process and neither encodes nor decodes then it remains nonsense, not wrong not right, just sense deconstructed into nonsense and the universe continues undisturbed and its laws unviolated ! : o)(

gesshin, it must be obvious even to you that your grasp of zen  is incompetent  !

you are proxing into buddhism and ending up dribbling nonsense for the most part, when you write from your own direct experience you do quite well and have a natural talent . .

too comfy with your own life, you need to look more closely and  f e e l i t s f a i l u r es

why is everybody so  r i g i d   !   ?

why is everybody so  r i g i d ! ?

why is everybody so  r i g i d ?

why is everybody so  r i g i d

why is everybody so rigid   !   ?

why is everybody so rigid ! ?

why is everybody so rigid ?

why is everybody so rigid

you are going  in a straight line  !

do you ask yourself where does the trajectory take you   ? 

you are going  in a straight line  !

do you ask yourself where does the trajectory take you ?

you are going in a straight line ! do you ask yourself where does the trajectory take you ?

a good   combination   of film and music with a subtle story line !

one of my favourite short films !

chilli gonzales playing his   composition   used at the beginning of the film !

god, only a year ago i was still  posting  on reddit zen, might have been longer, i'm not sure how they define  “year”  !

i like what i wrote . .

:

o

)

interesting how many of the flakes/fakes have deleted their id's . .

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

the water in the outside pipe has f r o z e n ,  my shadow crisp against the wall  !

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

the water in the outside pipe has f r o z e n ,  my shadow crisp against the wall !

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

the water in the outside pipe has f r o z e n,   !   my shadow crisp against the wall !

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, a bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

the water in the outside pipe has f r o z e n ,  my shadow crisp against the wall  !

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, a bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

the water in the outside pipe has f r o z e n ,  my shadow crisp against the wall !

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, a bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

the water in the outside pipe has f r o z e n,   !   my shadow crisp against the wall !

september the first  2015, 3.10am ,   a super bright, a bit past the full moon - perigee ,  the light so white you can almost see the brown of the garage roof and the bluey green of the cedar that grows up against it

earlier i could not believe my ears to hear a magpie in the gum across the paddock do a warble because it was confused about it being light enough for dawn !

alice munroe encapsulates the writers/mystics dilemma !

she was asked in her nobel prize   interview   wether there had ever been periods where she was unable to write  ?  [25:00]

yah, hm hm hm hm ahh . . i'm trying to think, well i gave up writing just about how long ago was it ? a year, not a year ago yet, but that was a decision ,  that was not wanting to write and not having . . it was more of a decision that i wanted to behave like the rest of the world in the sense that when you are a writer you are never quite like other people, you are doing some job that other people don't know you are doing and you can't talk about it really and you are just finding your way in this secret world and then you are doing something else in the normal world, and i guess i was a little tired of that, though i had done it all my life, absolutely all my life

gesshin, living in japan you are exotic, i guess because you are a translator of the culture

but in america you are just another  boring schizophrenic fart  that your country is so replete in ! : o(

r/askdocs and r/medical are full of health cripples like  yourself ,  one gives advice but they cannot get that the way they do things is wrong, like their health issues are not staring down at them like the muzzle of a gun !

the  BCD  is the rational basis for eating, it's the type of carbs that matter !

you are right to skip the sugar !

also drop the splenda !

forget counting calories, it's a meaningless measure !

the amount of running you are doing is seriously depleting you on top of an diet only the retarded would think has any rational basis

you are hyperglycemic which is the stepping stone to diabetes !

if you have a weight problem you can check your thyroid function by putting a couple of drops of topical   iodine   tincture or a small smear of betadine/povidine on the underside of the wrist and seeing what that does to how you feel and your energy levels !

the problem is you have years of work ahead of you to sort things out so your post forties and fifties life is not a health disaster

hypoglycemia implies insulin resistance and eventual diabetes because through some disaster of evolutionary design, the production of insulin itself is toxic to the beta islets, so if you have to produce a lot of insulin to overcome the cells insulin resistance then the beta islets eventually get crippled and you become diabetic !

you haven't read the  BCD  and   SCD  links ,  it takes days just to start to get a glimmer of what they are about, it's your only way of getting on the road to a healthy trajectory, if you have done a university degree, surely you must understand the notion of research and the time it takes to form a sophisticated view !

depending on where it is grown, especially the southern usa and australia, brown rice will be very high in arsenic ! do you eat quite a bit on a weekly basis ?

potatoes have difficult to digest starches in feeding bad microbiome which in turn can generate antigens to various sugar related metabolic compartments !

that's what the specific carbohydrate diet and biofilm/microbiome carbohydrate diets are about, the selective use of carbohydrates . . .

r/askdocs and r/medical are full of health cripples, you give advice but they cannot get that the way they do things is wrong, like their health issues are not staring down at them like the muzzle of a gun !

forget counting calories, it's a meaningless measure !

r/askdocs and r/medical are full of health cripples, you give advice but they cannot get that the way they do things is wrong, like their health issues are not staring down at them like the muzzle of a gun !

everyone steers so as to only conform to their own opinions !

everyone steers so as to only conform to their own opinions

r/zen ,  they steer so as to only conform to their own opinions !

r/zen ,  they steer so as to only conform to their own opinions

they steer so as to only conform to their own opinions !

they steer so as to only conform to their own opinions

a quote from charles bukowski

my c o m m e n t

unless it's the bitterness of an unsuccessful one !

my c o m m e n t

unless it's the bitterness of an unsuccessful one !  : o (

a quote from charles bukowski

my c o m m e n t

unless it's the bitterness of an unsuccessful one !

a quote from charles bukowski

my c o m m e n t

unless it's the bitterness of an unsuccessful one

zakaj  q u o t e s  friedrich  nietzsche

my

c

o

m

m

e

n

t

yeah, that's why what zen is really about is celibate and this whole western  “married with kids ”  zen which hybridizes monastic with lay life is such a disaster .  . the roads fork and which one you are on requires a different approach

kogen's  (/r/user/Gocloudrunwater)  wife has recently become pregnant, they are living at tassajara and i think subtly the management is trying to push them out, but he seems to have  no clues  that he now needs a good income !

“ what is the way ? ”

“ what is the way ? ”

“ what is the way ? ”

life incompetence is the way

lansford  w.  hastings

i meant well and did ill !

another  LPT  tip

life

and

people

are

uneven

another  LPT  tip

life

and

people

are

another  LPT  tip

life

and

people

are

uneven

a reddit post

In the village  (ed. uk)  that I grew up in (in the 1990s) ,  there was this odd guy who always used to cycle around.  As I remember he was in his 30s and would wear slightly dirty jeans, and a leather waistcoat over a dirty t-shirt.  He looked a bit like a troublemaker, but no-one ever saw him walking, much less speaking to anyone or making trouble, he was just always cycling around.

By both adults and children he was known as  “ Herbie Cat Killer ” ,  and the story went that he would steal pet cats and torture them to death.  He also wore a necklace on which he strung cat teeth  (this last bit was the piece of tangible evidence which made the story 'true', though I think it was more a Crocodile Dundee look he was going for, and the teeth probably weren't feline)

Fast forward a few years and something terrible happened in the village that would reveal Herbie's true motive for cycling around all the time.  A 16-year-old girl from my school was murdered  (it was horrible, really)  and during the early days of the investigation, Herbie disappeared.  Naturally, people were suspicious but then the guy who actually did it was found pretty quick and Herbie went back to his old habits.

Anyway, it all came out after that  (indiscreet police + village rumour mill)  that what Herbie was actually doing was cycling around and keeping track of when families went on holiday. He would then tell local gypsies  (there were a lot of camps around our area), who would then break into garages and steal tools, motorcycles and other stuff, cutting him in on the profits.

a reddit post

On the train one day, a bright little girl about 8 years old sits opposite me.  She's accompanied by a drawn looking guy who might be my age  (27)  but looks older.

After a while I notice his little fingernail on one hand is about an inch and a half long and curves up towards his palm.  As I'm mentally logging this as my first time seeing an obvious coke nail IRL, the little girl sees something outside the window and laughs.

Her teeth are all entirely black

some-one who i pm'ed  (ed. private messaged)  about a gut issue on reddit askdocs wondered why i pm'ed and didn't join the public threads, well it's the same as just about any subreddit, morons run the boards and enforce some version of the film   “ idiocracy ! ”

yeah some of the moderators  (ask docs)  don't like me at all, i just can't be bothered with the arguments any more ,  their view of medicine is stuck in 1980 !

i used to have docs come across from other boards just to argue with me, emergency department ones particularly who have a certain perspective and overconfidence which doesn't work here . . the level of drug use amongst these people surprised me . . the moderators never had any problem with that . .

then when i stopped posting publically they disappeared and don't post on ask docs at all now . .

you  (ed.  the person asking me about pm'ing)  said it yourself  “ leaky gut ”  which you have, it's not going to magically come right, but medicine does not competently deal with this problem !

i don't think you like the view that i indicated to you either, time will show . . . i've seen people prefer to remain invalids rather than help themselves ,  you are not in a good spot and medicine doesn't have the answers !

anyway it's interesting you asked, i always used to wonder why people pm'ed, more experience taught me the reason why was an inability of most people to publically dialogue, but instead just repeat thoughtless opinions and when that doesn't work, ban or ask for bans !

for a competing author, you are torn between wanting to make a damaging criticism, but not wanting to tell them anything useful !

from r/askdocs

Lacerated my spleen almost 4 months ago, feel  'popping'  when i make certain movements.  i'm male, aged 18.  About 3 months ago, on May 7th, I lacerated my spleen and suffered internal bleeding.  The doctors said it would heal itself, and did not go through with surgery.  After a few days, I was released when the bleeding was very slowed down, but had not completely stopped. I was sent home with no medication, and am not currently on any.  I refrained from unnecessary movement for a week or so, and I was fine.

After 3 months of no intense physical activity, they said I could go back to exercising, but nothing that's too rough and could potentially cause my spleen to become injured again.  Recently  (First noticed about 2 weeks ago) ,  I've been working out by doing light ab exercises and when I make certain movements, I feel a sort of a 'pop.'  It's kind of the same feeling as the popping from double-joints, or a subdued and inaudible knuckle crack  (at least I don't think it makes a sound).

It doesn't cause any pain, but feels strange and definitely did not occur before my injury.  It's in the same spot where I felt pain, and I'm wondering if it's anything that needs attention ?

my

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popping sounds may be ok in the context of  joints  , but i would be cautious in the context of your injury scar tissue !

i would avoid exercises that make the noise in your spleen , it's a sign of stress there and   “ cavitation ”  is an explosive event !!

“ although there is no evidence that knuckle cracking causes arthritis, there have been reports that it can injure ligaments and dislocated tendons ”

alice munro's   nobel prize     “ interview ” ,  she's really quite autistic and full of z e n insight about the nature of writing, of the ingress and interchangeability of fantasy and reality

as i have got older i no longer expect people to be  “even” ,  the most astounding uneveness and hypocrisies exist within us all  !

as i have got older i no longer expect people to be  “even” ,  the most astounding uneveness and hypocrisies exist within us all

as i have got older i no longer expect people to be  ‘ even ’  ,  the most astounding uneveness and hypocrisies exist within us all

as i have got older i no longer expect people to be  “even” ,  the most astounding uneveness and hypocrisies exist with us all  !

as i have got older i no longer expect people to be  “even” ,  the most astounding uneveness and hypocrisies exist with us all

as i have got older i no longer expect people to be  ‘ even ’  ,  the most astounding uneveness and hypocrisies exist with us all

well you try to make it an object  ( ed. infinity ! )  but it's not an object  !

well you try to make it an object  ( ed. infinity ! )  but it's not an object

well you try to make it an object ,  but it's not an object

well you try to make it an object but it's not an object

well you try to make it an object  ( ed. infinity ! god ! ? )  but it's not an object

everybody  is  uneven   !

even  god  is  uneven   !

everybody  is  uneven   !

even  god  is  uneven   !

everybody is uneven  !

even god is uneven  !

everybody is uneven  !

even god is uneven  !

everybody is uneven  !

even god is uneven  !

even god is uneven  !

everybody is uneven  !

even god is uneven  !

everybody  is  uneven   !

everybody  is  uneven   !

everybody is uneven  !

everybody is uneven   !

everybody is uneven  !

everybody is uneven

write from your own experience, writing about others gains you no credit  !

guess who gets the rough edge ?

both !

people can be competent at their job but not power politics

guess who gets the rough edge ?

OMg that's me !

poor  communication  between the prefrontal cortex located directly below the forehead and the parietal cortex just above both ears

o u c h ! : o ( )

it's interesting to compare the persistance of physical compared to biological objects, we know about heraclitus, sappho and jane austin and even cave drawers through their writing and drawing, but their biological entities have long since decohered into nothingness  (or dust/sludge ! : o ) (

i had a vision of a trout  (something speckled anyway !)  moving in a stream, it caught itself moving and stopped, then just drifted with the s t r e a m . .

i had a vision of a trout  (something speckled anyway !)  moving in a stream, it caught itself moving and stopped, then just drifted with the s t re a m . .

i like the 3M 1100 ear plugs for ear protection when shooting !

very good broad band attenuation !

i was just thinking of my life, pretty well every wrong turning i could have taken, i have taken ! : o(

a

bit

weird

isn't

i was just thinking of my life, pretty well every wrong turning i could have taken, i have taken !

a

bit

weird

isn't

i was just thinking of my life, pretty well every wrong turning i could have taken, i have taken

a

bit

weird

isn't

i was just thinking of my life, pretty well every wrong turning i could have taken, i have taken ! : o(

i was just thinking of my life, pretty well every wrong turning i could have taken, i have taken !

i was just thinking of my life, pretty well every wrong turning i could have taken, i have taken

a quote    by franz grillparzer from his  ‘ notebooks and diaries ’   ( 1811-1816 )

“ genius differs from talent not by the amount of original thoughts, but by making the latter fertile and by positioning them properly, in other words, by integrating everything into a whole, whereas talent produces only fragments, no matter how beautiful ”

kogen, the dream of zen   has e v a p o r a t e d

you are in a different dream now ! : o)

kogen, the dream of zen   has e v a p o r a t e d

you are in a different dream now !

kogen, the dream of zen   has e v a p o r a t e d

you are in a different dream now

kogen, the zen dream   has e v a p o r a t e d

you are in a different dream now ! : o)

kogen, the zen dream   has e v a p o r a t e d

you are in a different dream now !

kogen, the zen dream   has e v a p o r a t e d

you are in a different dream now

“ Is it possible to develop  a whey protein allergy  ? ”

thinking about it  ,  the   answer is   yes ,  you have developed microbiome problems generating an autoimmune response since whey is not very digestible and a microbiome feeder  (microbiome = bad gut bugs !)

basically the whey is feeding gut bugs that cause an allergic response !

very occasionally on r/meditation one comes across something like   this ,  something on target ! : o )

“ Anyway, whilst reading one of the chapters  ( ed.  eckhart tolle's  “the power of now” )  on the beach today, alone, I found myself almost drifting into a separate  ‘ mini ’  meditation whilst trying to comprehend some of his teachings.

During this time I began to become intensely present, more than in any of my routine meditations. It was as if life was a show  -  watching the energy of the waves roll in, children playing and swimming in the sea, birds flying over head  -  and I was just non-judgementally watching it all unfold in my presence, I had no thoughts or worries.  It felt as if I had almost left my body and became much more aware and peaceful . . . ”

it's interesting to try and correlate it with giulio tononi's   metric  of phi  (a value of conciousness) ,  some excursion of value on the high side, a momentary reduction of boundaries increasing the number of states possible with some simultaneity of a  ‘ trans state ’  that is both inclusive and exclusive of others . .

some insight giving a deeper coherence and integration, a flash of infinitely synchronous broadcasting within the global workspace that is conciousness  . .  ?

interestingly leo kanner supported   the emigration of and employment of   dr. hans asperger's judaic staff from austria to the usa prior to WW2 !

probably doubles up on the carcinogenicity though  ! : o ( ) !

evidence increasingly suggests that there is an association between the microbiota in the gut  -  bacteria, fungi and viruses  -  and the development of autoimmune disorders  e.g.  uveitis  !

the extract below is from this   article

“ Joan Didion’s moment of insight came in 1971 or 1972, during a summer visit with Quintana, then five or six, to Old Sacramento, an area of the city reconstructed to look like downtown Sacramento, where her father’s great-grandfather owned a saloon, circa 1850

She began telling Quintana about all the ancestors who had once walked on those sidewalks, and then she remembered that Quintana  (ed.  her daughter)  was adopted.  Quintana had no relationship to Old Sacramento and its sidewalks and saloons

And this thought made her realize, as she put it later, that, “ in fact, I had no more attachment to this wooden sidewalk than Quintana did :  it was no more than a theme, a decorative effect ”

Looking back, she decided that this was the moment when the story she had grown up with  —  “ the entire enchantment under which I had lived my life ”  —  began to seem foreign ”

this is what zen is really about, seeing these fictions in our lives not the bullshit mythologizing of an old sacramento in meiji and reddit zen ! : o(

roger penrose lectures on    forbidden crystal symmetry   in mathematics and architecture

a poem   by  aoife lyall

Hooks  &  Eyes

The  6:47  to Edinburgh.

The conductor looks for tickets,

It’s early  –  no rush  –  you’re one of us.

Returning with his trolley,

A night cap for your morning nap?

The mountains hem our secret path.

We glide through granite sleeves and folds.

The sun pulls fog from quilted fields

and with the dawn it slowly yawns

and curls its limbs around our carriage.

And I want to wake the girl nearby,

sleeping on her Primark bag :  to shake her at the shoulder and whisper  –

‘ Look at this ’

sepehr g.  w r i t e s

   this film   is about the quasi border between the real and unreal

it does a good job showing how a poet has to move freely between them to find infinity or so . . .

passage by passage of light and shade

maintained and preserved to this point

as far as i can see

life is the endless exploration

as far as i can see

life is the endless exploration

of an infinite density of being

as far as i can see

life is an endless exploration

as far as i can see

life is an endless exploration

of an infinite density of being

as far as i can see

life is an endless exploration

as far as i can see

life is an endless exploration

of the infinite density of being

as far as i can see

life is just an endless exploration

as far as i can see

life is just an endless exploration

of the infinite density of being

to my view there's two types of writing

the second is for entertainment which is what it takes to s e l l

the first leaves you broke, but the second distorts you

does this say something about the nature of the world ?

a rather fascinating discussion    by toni packer of her childhood and early life photos  (interviewed by joan tollifson)  in prewar and wartime germany as half jewish !

semen at rates of 10,000 times  is the core  of HIV infectivity !

the only reason i write is for myself, all you need is about one viewer and for long periods ,  myself and one other was all there was   .  .

one lesson i got from reading how nikolai gogol destroyed the second volume of  “ dead souls ”  on the instruction of some particularly stupid priest, is never to delete or destroy your own work !

often you can just leave stuff and see how it hangs there or see how it g o e s  .  .

we are full of provisional ideas that n e e d working through  .  .

jonathan wrote  “ What am I even waiting for, there's nothing but infinity.  Infinite waiting for infinity right in front of me.  So still waiting it's always there the waiting so waiting forever.  So what ?  So am I waiting . . . .  what the fuck this is stupid it's not very helpful at all it's just nonsense ”

that's good writing very  “ waiting for godot ”  samuel beckett !

photo by jonathan med thomas

an ied or other explosive blast to the chest  pulses  blood to the frontal lobes ,  damaging them   ! 

this explains a lot of the stories about men coming back from WW1 and WW2  “ changed ”  !

sandy and joan mill ,  a very adventureous life ,  sailing travels   .  .    I  II   !

i'm sympathetic to ernest hemingway, his first wife had stolen from her   I  II  III   all his first writing while leaving an unattended bag in her overnight berth on a train at the gare de lyon  -  a  d i s a s t e r

he had previously ignored her very very strong advice not to go on a reporting assignment to constantinople and got malaria  -  a complete d i s a s t e r  !

got her the wrong way  both times

a

d

i

s

a

s

t

e

r

schema always fail  !  that's the true schema  !  : o )

and so immediate !

sepehr g.  w r i t e s

Andrew, if life is just process with no bottom turtle, how can it be a reflection of something deeper ?  “ I ”  is nothing but oscillation and stability, and the poem the gateway to infinity . . .  but isn't that infinity monstrous ?

Where is this mysterious irradiance that permeates everything ?  If this life is really all that I get and rebirth is superstition, then why should love be extended in all directions infinitely ?  Why does it matter if I take the pain personally or not ?  Just for a transient glimpse of infinity and that's it ,  and then welcoming the blackness of death ?

You said :

“ when we die the world also dies which is why being faced with death is such a topsy turvey disturbing process, yet paradoxically so opening ! ”  -   Andrew

What should be the incentive in gaining wisdom in solitude within natural scenery if the wisdom gained will bring nothing but pain in this evanescent life . . .  A pain that shows that nothing but inertness awaits with the cessation of my bodily functions ?

Both the real and unreal, which blend in indistinguishable twilight, are gone when I go, so what's the point in valuing them or what I do in this life when it's just a fleeting dream ?

I want more incentive to practice or whatever . . .  but it seems delusion is preferable to wisdom . . .  Why soak in the infinite if it will all end in the abeyance that is void when this life fades away . . .

If life really is senseless and i'm parsing meaning out of meaninglessness, like a babble that has no intrinsic meaning ,  then what's the point of taking any of this seriously if it'll end in naught ?  it's just a recursive joke . . .

my

r e p l y

a very good post thanx ! :o)

i really like that phrase at the end ,  you really have made good progress with these posts . .

it's interesting, you get off track, then you get on track when you are motivated, so the first thing is it can't be easy to be you, i really mean that, you have my sympathy, more burdened with with this extreme flip flopping than anyone else !

you are naturally tasked with a difficult life and neurology, same with me, if i could live blind and had a reasonable competence in life like the rest of the breeding r a t s ,  i would

but the way i am always throws me tossed in the waves like osip mandelstam's  “ seashell ”  poem . .

so as to the  “ why ”  of   “ parsing meaning out of meaninglessness, like a babble that has no intrinsic meaning ,  then what's the point of taking any of this seriously if it'll end in naught ?  it's just a recursive joke . . . ”   is that really for some, like the posters on this blog, there is no choice !

i just do this because it's the road i'm on and i can hear the lions roar in the distance behind me, no doubt they will catch up one day !

your problem is you don't really see what is infinity and understand it as infinity and therefore the hub of all we think of as life . .

that sense of what it is takes alot of time to clarify and develop and a certain mode of life that is shall we say/call it  “ hermetic ” ?

it's that sense of what it is which is fact an absorption into that which drives everything ,  in that context human love is limited . .

that is why meiji zen and the disgusting abeyances of what zen is really about like web zen are so wrong, rocked in the arms of and giving human love is like rolling in filthy excrement, but o f c o u r s e t h i s w i l l n o t b e u n d e r s t o o d . .

(so?)  an aspect of infinity in life is this endless  “ density ”  in all directions and you are on the right track, beginning to probe this and this is all one can do in life, i can't even say  “ in an intelligent fashion ”  because it all seems so beyond intelligence and our ability to p r e d i c t  . .

the yahoo's in gullivers travels   are in fact   “ hnea yahoo ”  or  “ not god ”   !

the yahoo's in gullivers travels are in fact  “ hnea yahoo ”  or  “ not god ”   !

the yahoo's in gullivers travels are in fact  ‘ hnea yahoo ’  or  ‘ not god ’   !

infant malnutrition    inducts environmental enteropathy  (EE)

the metabolomic analysis of the small intestine revealed for the first time that malnutrition leads to drastic shifts in the small intestinal bile acid pool

specifically, a reduction in tauroconjugated bile acids was observed in malnourished mice, which are important for fat and nutrient uptake in the small intestine

such a bile deficiency could be linked to observed alterations in the luminal bioavailability of the fat-soluble vitamins A, D and E

changes in bile composition could foster colonisation by bacteroidales and e. coli strains in the small intestine

psychiatrists don't care about patients health  !

reddit is full of the wreckage from multidrug pyschiatric cocktails  !

psychiatrists don't care about patients health  !

reddit is full of wreckage from multidrug pyschiatric cocktails  !

psychiatrists don't care about patients health  !

reddit is full of the wreckage from multidrug pyschiatric cocktails  !

psychiatrists don't care about patients health  !

reddit is full of wreckage from multidrug pyschiatric cocktails  !

psychiatrists don't care about patients health !

reddit is full of the wreckage from multidrug pyschiatric cocktails !

psychiatrists don't care about patients health !

reddit is full of wreckage from multidrug pyschiatric cocktails !

the best way to take vitamin D is not the medical  “bolus”  dose ,  but to take D3 daily to maximise its steroid effect which will help with the joint pain !

even better is to further  “ divide ”  the dose down to several times a day, what the actual dose is you have to work out as everyone is affected differently !

from    askreddit

I worked in toll booths from 98 to 2000 although I don't have too many stories that are that interesting.  The toll I worked on was on a fairly small road actually about an hour outside Las Vegas.  There was a good amount of traffic but occasionally there would be breaks where there are no cars so i could sit back and relax.  It was a fairly cool night and quiet as it usually is and a small town I can always see off in the distance with its lights on it was a little after 11pm there was a break in cars so i sat back and dosed off I woke up about 30 minutes later still no cars in sight so i just sat there

I'd occasionally look down the road to see if I needed to prepare for a car but there was nothing I could see I turned back to my book of Sudoku but i was hearing something that sounded like the distance buzz of an engine i looked back out the window and still saw nothing so I went back to my book and brushed it off as a train in the distance that I couldn't quite see because there was a railway that was over the hill across the road from where I was sitting.  After 2 minutes passed the engine noise wasn't gone and was actually louder than before.  i looked out the window again I looked down the road and was about to go back into the booth but I saw something in the corner of my eye.  The toll station had a light emitting from it and I could see the reflection of the light on a slowly approaching sedan.  The car rolled up the first thing I noticed was that the car was totally trashed as if it got into an accident really recently

As it rolls to a stop I look in and I see a fairly young man maybe early 20's with some dried liquid on his face because of the lighting I couldn't tell what it was.  I asked him if everything was alright and he responded with a cold and smooth voice ,  “ Yes sir, just getting me and my sister home ”  This unsettled me because he was alone in the car.  I told him the toll and he rolled off again I watched as he drove off into the distance still with no head or tail light.  Before heading back into the booth I look down and see a pool of liquid formed where the car was stopped.  I figured it was just some sort of oil leaking from the car but because of the weird acts of the driver I knelt down and dipped my finger into it because the light from the booth wasn't perfect i could only see it as a dark liquid on the ground as I stood back up and put my hand into the light I could see it was red.  Red like blood

I decided it would probably be best if I called the police and they got there and determined that it was in fact blood and I told them that the pool formed over where the cars trunk sat when he was stopped.  I gave them a description of the car and that's the last i heard of it.  I still wonder whether it was that 20 or so year olds' sister in the trunk of the car or what but i will always remember that night and if it was he got caught and punished

Well when the police got there they confirmed to me it was blood unfortunately.  I'm not sure how they confirmed it but they did tell me that blood has somewhat of an iron smell to it and it's easier to pick out in larger concentrations

ed.  just stuck in my mind for some reason  !  : o ) (

from the comments, near lake mead, nevada ?

the author is 19 years old and has some super strong autistic traits, obviously the story is made up, hard also to say whether that's the case with the one below ?  this  (toll booth)  one is abit  “ literary ” !

a post  from   askreddit

When I was in my early 20's, I worked a late shift, so I started carrying a .38 with me when I walked to work

Nearly two years into that job, I walked past an alley on the way to work, and heard a commotion. I looked down into the alley, and saw a guy just absolutely beating the shit out of another guy.  I wasn't about to jump in and be a hero, I mean, I had no idea why they were fighting, the guy on the ground could have been a drug dealer selling crack to the other guy's kid for all I knew

The second before I'm about to turn away and let them figure it out, the winning guy draws a gun and pulls the slide back, yelling at the downed guy about how he's gonna blow his brains out.  Something happened in that moment and I just pulled out my piece and let all 5 rounds go, as fast as I could pull the trigger.  I don't know how many hit him, but he went down immediately

The other guy looked out at me, and probably got a good look at my face, because I just stood there for a moment in shock. Then I pretty much panicked and bolted. I didn't go into work that night, and used up all my time off while I mulled over the idea of splitting town.  I destroyed the gun immediately.  Melted it down

I eventually did leave that job, but not in a rush.  I made up a story about a family member in ill health, and gave my two weeks to my job, leaving soon after.  I moved cross country, and got a new job.  Didn't change my name or anything like that

I don't know how to feel about it.  I alternate between feeling totally justified, and very ashamed.  That guy was probably gonna die, and I saved him.  Was he worth saving, though ?  I knew so little about what was happening, I just reacted in an instant.  And what about the guy I killed ?  Either he was a piece of shit criminal, or a loving father of three pushed to the edge

The only way I'll ever know is if they catch me, and tell me about it in the process. I do get afraid of that, often. I guess I can live with some paranoia, in the moments when I tell myself I did the right thing

ed.  reading the comments, there is no indication this homicide ever made the news which implies the shot man was a criminal or outlaw !

what i find interesting is not the moral aspect of it, but the guy on the ground about to be shot has a new lease of life from what would have to be, a not merely unexpected but totally improbable, almost impossible corner ! : o)

a lars von trier quote

“ When I look around and look at works of art that I like, they all contain melancholia to some point

I would describe it as being the soul to put in the food

You know, if you've got to put in melancholia, then you have to have some melancholia at the table to put it into to make it become a real dish ”

my  r e p l y

that is a reasonable and intelligent perspective of a non celibate middle aged man who has thought and experienced these matters

however from the perspective of celibacy and lifelong intensity of investigation, it's to be the other side of suicide and to play with the perspectives and views that state gives you !

it's the difference between a warm day and the red hot lava thrown up by a flaming volcano !

coming back from town last night, i picked up a road killed wallaby, maybe half an hour dead or less, still very pliable . .

a n y w a y  before bed i hung it up and gutted it, what was interesting was the intestinal tract and stomach were undamaged and hadn't spilled their contents at all, a portion of the lungs showed some contusion but that was about it . .

the skull was intact, a bit of clotted blood in the brain

it made me think of the phrase  “broken neck”  applied to humans in accidents, such a substantial injury so casually treated in two words . .

looking at the carcass this morning, the cats have chewed it right down, i save the internal organs, lungs, liver, kidneys, pancreas, brain and thyroids for myself, the brain certainly makes one think b e t t e r . .  !

jason  w r i t e s  from furnace mountain, 10th august 2015

i'm having a great time Andrew, I'll take some pictures within the next couple of days to share

Today I asked George bomun :

“ Is there something that comes from years of meditation and contemplation ? ”

His reply :

“ Oh, yes ! Absolutely ! ”

my

r e p l y

his full reply was

Oh, yes! Absolutely!

but it's an open question as to wether one would have been better to to have taken a more conventional path in life, understood less and been happier and less depressed from the insight a deep understanding gives, to see the free fall of floating eventually down to the bottom of a/the bottomless abyss !

my   ditty

one doctor is right

another doctor is wrong

into the empty vacuity of a meaningless life ?

into the empty vacuity of a meaningless life ?

one doctor is right

another doctor is wrong

one doctor is right

another doctor is wrong

one doctor is right

another doctor is wrong

one doctor is right

another doctor is wrong

yes, i know, everything is about you !

sepehr ,  your whole approach is the avoidance of any contemplative work yourself, proxing writing onto others, semi-magic like the  buddhabrot ,  immersed in visual entertainment. .  endless this avoidance by y o u !

willem and judith kempen   traverse   the canning stock route !

helena spring didn't match it's description of a visit in october 1896 by explorer david carnegie who described it as  “ the diamond in the desert ”  !

a quote from kenji miyazawa's poem   “ strong in the rain ”

he lives in a little thatched-roof hut

in a field in the shadows of a pine tree grove

my

c o m m e n t

“ in the shadows ”  may be right ! : o(

maybe it's the translation(s !) ,  but there's something about his writing that doesn't gell with me, he is mad of course, but not collected enough about it ! : o (

a  page  of his poetry

some people like osip mandelstam simply seem beyond the ability of translators to ever capture what they really wrote in its full depth of subtlety and allusion !

reading abit more he does grow on you !

an imaginative    children's story !

Medicine simply does not have the answers for a lot of gastrointestinal issues !

“ My friend has stomach issues that no doctor can fix or make less uncomfortable/painful

She is 17 almost 18 and has some serious stomach acid type of health problem.  She has had every stomach test possible done, it's not an ulcer as well.  She takes multiple antacids every day.  Its not her diet she eats really healthy and it still happens.  Mainly its a cycle, where it gets really bad then normal for awhile with mild acid symptoms and then back to really bad

So i'm asking all these people on reddit if you know a way to fix this or you know what type of condition it is and if there is a way to make it better ,  i'm just tired of doctors not knowing what this is and her feeling like shit and it's really upsetting when you hear things like this is going to be my life forever ”

my

r e p l y

the two diets that address microbiome problems are the SCD and BCD diets

You would also find the Houston afp pep, no fenol, zyme prime and bromelain enzymes useful ,  they really help with digestion !

But it's a different paradigm, you have to accept medicine can't really help with a lot of gastrointestinal issues and do heaps of work putting things together for yourself that get you into a functioning space !

eye changes are the earliest and most sensitive indicators of blood sugar problems !

it's not simply the amount of sugar you eat, genetics and other dietary factors can play a big role !

eye changes are the earliest and most sensitive indicators of blood sugar problems !

it's not simply the amount of sugar you eat, genetics and other dietary factors can play a big role !

sepehr g.    w r i t e s

I think a lot of little things, besides nutrition which is immensely important, can dull down people.  The same is true for brighten.  It's hard to pick out all those things.

One of them, I know as an absolute that I never truly learned until now, is how thick, colored eye glasses make people stupid.  It cuts off at least  30 - 40  percent of your peripheral vision.  I'm not kidding.  I don't think anyone can wear this without training their mind and eyes to be more focused on narrowness or whatever.  Wirey and light frames are obviously better in that it doesn't do ANYTHING to your peripheral vision.

i think going blind is better than wearing glasses that destroy your peripheral vision.  There's something about vision without the peripheral vision that dulls your mind, that makes it suck some parochial like limbo . . .

There are a little of things like this in life, some bigger of course

my

r e p l y

good reply thanx sepehr !

there are life and intellectual equivalents to restricted peripheral vision ! :o)

the longer you take them ,  the more likely the side effects build as well. . .

the longer you take them ,  the more likely the side effects build as well. . .

the longer you take them ,  the more likely the side effects build as well. . .

anaïs nin on venice

I was sent to Venice to cover fashions for magazines.  When the train approaches Venice, it seems to be running on water because there is water on each side of the rails.  The dream begins even in the train, as one leaves the earth to enter a new plant.  Venice at night.  In the train, across from me sat an Italian with gray hair, such a warm-toned skin, and glowing eyes with resplendent teeth . . . .  It was he who opened the window so I could see the first lights of Venice.  The first layer of still water and the floating lights

When we reached Venice he helped me get on the motorboat, carried my bag . . . I smiled behind my veil and wished instead I could concentrate on my first sight of venice.  Venice at night.  Fluid, golden, all lights, and multiple reflections of lights, ghostly houses, a beauty one cannot seize at first because it is so subtle and intricate and has the evanescent quality of a dream.  The laciness of the buildings, the sculptured modeling, the carvings, the statues, the trellises of shadows and white colonnaades and such a fusion of a city and reflections of a city that half of it seems sunk into water.  The music of the water, the slapping sound of the wavelets as the boats pass, against walls, bridges, and stairways.  The long gliding black gondolas, the rhythm, the voices mingling, laughter, everything softened, flowing, muted by the presence of the water . . .

This city striving to rise out of the water each day has the magic which only the sea can create for it, has the same pulse as that of our hearts and blood; it cradles emotions and the sense, it lulls them, enchants them, hypnotizes them.  It is not a city but a drug

In the sunlight the chalky colors are patined with gold, rocked by the rhythm of the tides which sway the houses and bridges.  These are the canals of the womb.  The sleep of the womb.  The gondolas are so silky and quiet that you feel are swimming through the water.  You are carried on a current of passivity and contemplation . . .

The wooden poles painted like banderillas are planted in the canal to chain the gondolas at rest,but they stll dance up and down, evenly, like a well-trained ballet . . .

from

jon  a s k s

I don't know why I'm always coming back here waiting for a response

You keep saying something about being sucked dry or some shit, being used and abused, I don't know the exact phrase or words but it's not pretty

Do you actually feel something physical or does it actually cause you so much harm when I or other people throw these questions at you ?

my

r e p l y

jon   r e p l i e s

I feel shitty sometimes

Lost, helpless

Sometimes extremely angry

my

r e p l y

i think/feel life is much more like backgammon rather than chess ! : o )

both krishnamurtis had their limitations . .

i think you have to be childless and lived most of your life celibate to get it 100% right

otherwise you are never going to do what is necessary . .  it is a constant extreme crucifixion . .

that is what is unique about the desert fathers, the best of catholic mysticism and zen/ch'an

jon  a s k s

I am reading   “ zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance ”

do you like this book ?

I like it, so far

my

r e p l y

a good article   on robert pirsig !

he was autistic and not insane, yet he accepts societies valuation of him as i n s a n e . .  !

he's a good example of some-one who should have been celibate and not married and had children . .  too much of a burden for him to survive . .

he's sorta half there and half not, celibate and he would have been a ll t h e r e

as it is it's a sorta fraud . .

he made quite abit of money out of the book and became a cult hero ,  g o o d  l u c k  t o  h i m !

time release melatonins are problematic from a digestive point of view !

when i used to take it, the one i liked most was the MRM brand one !

now i do   other things   as melatonin has some limitations !

brad warner  w r i t e s

a couple days ago someone sent an email to me asking, “ do you think the personal relationship with a teacher is vital for reaching deeper levels of realization ? ”

after answering with my usual stuff about why one needs a teacher I said, “ deeper levels of realization are for suckers ” I wasn’t trying to be cute.  well, not entirely anyway.  I mean that.  there are no deeper levels of realization.

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translating  “realization”  into a less voynich term

“ understanding ”

there's infinite density in all directions, what you have to do is embark on the process of exploring that infinite density . .

that process supports and modifies you if you let it, there's nothing to hold onto and what emerges is what g i v e s  i d e n t i t y  !  . .

t h a t  i s  t h e  t e a c h e r  a n d  i t  i s  s u c h  a  d i f f i c u l t  r o u g h  h o u s e  i  a m  n o t  s u p r i s e d  y o u  f l a k e d  a w a y  t o o  f r i g h t e n i n g  f o r  y o u  ?

when you go to stay at a  “ center ” ,   you are going into a very gossipy environment ,  be careful of what you say and try to always be courteous and helpful !

jon  a s k s / s t a t es

how the hell do you even write that kind of shit

referring to anaïs nin

that's some crazy stuff, it's out of control

my

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anaïs nin did have the advantage of knowing or having as friends or lovers some of the best writing talents of her time . .

paris, louveciennes, new york, california . .

i don't think that sort of grouping of competent writers exists today, dull hacks is what these times seem to mostly consist of !  .  !

anaïs nin did have the advantage of knowing or having as friends or lovers some of the best writing talents of her time . .

paris, louveciennes, new york, california . .

i don't think that sort of grouping of competent writers exists today, dull hacks is what these times seem to mostly consist of !  .  !

  hmmm   ,  caffeine   is  a  problem   !

  hmmm   ,  caffeine   is  a  problem   !

  hmmm   ,  caffeine   is  a  problem   !

hmmm ,  caffeine   is  a  problem   !

hmmm ,  caffeine   is  a problem   !

hmmm ,  caffeine   is  aproblem   !

hmmm ,  caffeine  is aproblem   !

hmmm, caffeine  is aproblem   !

hmmm, caffeine  is aproblem  !

the bloody mop of existance !

“ so well sung ,  it makes you cry ”

a good  account  of taking radioactive iodine !

more

well my upper motor neurons are ok !

( ed.  the other fingers should not move ! )

interesting that's is such   an easy and distinct test  !

if you want to see  a fucked up spine  look at these MRI's !

interesting you can see the brain stem in them !

asking a woman to be honest with you is like asking water not to be wet !

you can see that sort of culture right through the film !

lol, cilla black's real name was priscilla white ! : o )

the long term management of tinnitus requires eliminating exposure to loud sounds !

that or earplugs/sound cancellers

jonathan  w r i t e s

Jesus christ do you gotta put some effort into keeping new habits going . . .  is it even worth it lol

my

r e p l y

is there any choice ?

a quote from proverbs

“ the man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out . . . ”

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except by the crocodile that waits by the straight path ! : o )(

ewk's dilemma

it's taken me along time to work out the real dynamics of  reddit zen ,  like how can such obtuse moronity persist for so long !

i think without  ewk  the subreddit would degenerate into a sorta buddhist wannabe zen forum, but ewk holds the fort for his version of  “buji scriptual zen”  and because of the sheer daily time he puts into it, forces a dominance of sorts !

one factor with the subreddit is the large percentage of gays including ewk, this is important because the subreddit always has strong sexual undercurrents, but also because ewk is really operating as a  “queen bee”  which is very heterosexual female charateristic, he is the queen bee and acts very hostilely to other potential queen bee's, but his dilemma is that  “alts”  constantly destroy any coherence that might develop on the subreddit as well as enabling a constant very hostile form of  “ street warefare ”  !

so he's the  “queen bee”  of a very damaged and rather useless  “ hive”  and he knows it, but can't remedy the situation by controlling the alts  (ed.  the ability to change nicks)  and if he was to leave and set up his own subreddit, non-one would come because he simply has no understanding of what zen is about . . .

none of them there can see the logic of at least doing a little real life zen to see how it works in practice, rather they base their creed on poor translations in the usual scriptual manner that actually our western christian background predisposes us to !

the other thing is ewk has a huge accumulated upvote score that buffers him against downvotes, that without this the  “buddhist zen wannabes”  who seem to be capable of effectively  “brigading”  downvotes would be able to put him into post inhibiting downvote territory !

so the way reddit zen is, is abit of an anomaly, it may persist as long as ewk persists there, once he goes it will divide more naturally into its two faux elements, buji and buddhist zen wannabe . .  separate subreddits in fact !

structually stressed situations like what exist on reddit zen can persist for a very long time and reddit is not short of a constant influx of incoming morons so the time frame for change goes out so far ahead, one cannot predict even that one will not go before this subreddit !  . .  : o ) (

the great secret with situations like this is how to make them work for you, i find what does this for me is to read it occasionally and NEVER post ! : o)

so all you reddit zenners who occasionally reference me with  zaddar1  you wanking bad arses . .

waste your time, i am impervious ! :o)

i was forced through several alts because of downvoting  ( zaddar   7thzenpatriarch   an3drew )  ,  in hindsight the  “brigade downvoting”  is a successful tactic and effectively ensured i would be removed from r/zen anyway, reddit is far from uncensored as is the claim !

the dull, repeditive, tedious and moronic are in control like nowhere else ! : o ( )

huh, i did write   some good stuff   in my time on there ! : o)(

anything which has a recursive substrate goes on forever and f o r e v e r  !

marina tsvetaeva, anna akhmatova, osip mandelstam ,   ̱   ̱    it's all incredibly sad ,  poets do not survive well in a police state !

it's almost as though the subtlety of thinking and holistic mindset is what upsets   ̲    ̲    ̱    which it still does today in  any culture and system of government   ̱   ̱     ̲

the mass of morons  imposing  t h e i r  w i l l    ̱      ̱    .   !   :  o  (

marina tsvetaeva, anna akhmatova, osip mandelstam ,   ̱   ̱    it's all incredibly sad ,  poets do not survive well in a police state !

marina tsvetaeva, anna akhmatova, osip mandelstam ,   ̱   ̱    it's all incredibly sad ,  poets do not stand up well in a police state !

marina tsvetaeva, anna akhmatova, osip mandelstam ,   ̱   ̱    it's all incredibly sad ,  poets do not do well in a police state !

they don't read adequately ,  just filling their minds with pappy junk instead of    quality

so the default network just engages on this shit driving them deeper into holes of their own making !

you can't tell them, they already have all the answers . .  stupid s h i t s ! : o (

an interesting piece   of samuel johnson's life !

effexor/venlafaxine, abilify/aripiprazole and doxycycline may be able to interact to cause this sort of memory problem, or at least amplify this well known side effect of effexor !

personally i am like this anyway ! : o ) (

“ I am 17 years old, female, Hispanic, 5'5", 125lbs, and recently  (last two weeks)  I have been having memory problems :  meaning, I have very distinct memories of, say, washing the dishes ,  but it turns out I never went near the sink

Or pouring myself a cup of water, drinking it and turning to wash it but it's still on the counter, full of water.  Or vividly recalling taking a shower, going to my room to change, and I never got out of bed.

In addition, my general memory is suffering as well.  As a typical 17 yr old, I have had daily chores for years; but in the last two weeks every day I forget to do some or all of them.  My birthday was on the 27th.  I did not remember until someone wished me happy birthday at midday.

I am diagnosed with PTSD, but the incident which caused it didn't just happen recently, and I have been in therapy and making progress for a few months.  I take small doses of Effexor and Abilify  (ed.  also doxycyline for several months now for catscratch fever)  everyday as well.  I have been on these doses for almost a year. ”

why travel when volunteers will travel, suffer and write about it for you ?

it was a  norovirus  btw gesshin ! : o)(

common to tourist traps i am sure !

nah, that was a good  post ,  you always do well when you write from your own experience !

i think with the internet is there is this problem of a huge abundance of quality reading material ,  i don't know how one copes with hyperlexia

i do try to winnow only in reading quality stuff, but you run into the problem of missing the gems buried in junk, of which there are always an essential few ! : o ) (

sepehr g.   a s k s

I always get autonomous sensory meridian response all over my body when I read good poetry, watch good film, or etc. I get it a lot of times with your poetry too

sometimes I get it too while writing my own stuff

is there anything unique or special about this ?

thanks

my

r e p l y

thanx for bringing that up, first time i have heard of it, but can relate, tho not a usual response for me !

sorta   fascinating

----------------------

maybe its not so aesthetically oriented with most people ?

that actually tells you a quite a bit about yourself, what interests and motivates you !

----------------------

Such a powerful poem Andrew   . . .  Your best one yet . . .

This poem . . .  I will memorize it and keep it as a kind of mantra.

Something about it made my whole body tingle more than normal.

ed.   the above is a previous post by sepehr g.

dongshan's   ‘ taking the high ridge ’

a monk asked  :

“ you always tell beginners to go the way of the high ridge, what is this way of the high ridge ? ”

dongshan replied   “ it is dangerous ! ”

the monk then asked  “ how can we go on this way ? ”

dongshan replied  “ by self awareness ,  attending to each step as it is made ”

reddit zen, these people don't accept they have cognitive style problems that have left them in a bizarre and non functional place they call z e n !

everything is about them apparently !  : o (

reddit zen, these people don't accept they have cognitive style problems that have left them in a bizarre and non functional place they call z e n !

reddit zen, these people don't accept they have cognitive style problems that have left them in a bizarre and non functional place they call z e n

why do i have to bleed to death whatever i do ? !

sepehr g.   a s k s

do you think cetaceans deserve to be considered non-human persons and be given rights ?

I was thinking about getting my ms or phd studying cetacean social cognition and possibly do field work with them

my

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i found a huge skull on the beach the other day, possibly a young gray's beaked whale

when i looked at that skull and the huge size of the brain case ,  i know it was likely more intelligent than humans . .

the really interesting thing about cetaceans is actually being able to communicate converse with them ,  they may well have language in their various   sounds and songs ,  who knows ?

sophisticated communication would establish rights immediately !

i guess that will happen !

one of the problems with zen and the sort of exploration involved is you lose your motivation for things like cetacean research which previously would have seemed exciting !

interestingly in the area of neurobiology, bernard baars, murray shanahan and others are establishing a brain physiology/biological basis for  conciousness  !

jason dafonte writes of his sitting group

I think the biggest lesson I've taken from there is how fucked up his dharma heirs knees and ankles are ,  constantly cracking when we do walking meditation

jason dafonte  a s k s

could you go more into detail of how you were kicked out of zen mountain monastery ?

my

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it's like ryushin marchaj's experience, he wanted to go and they didn't want him !

at that stage i was still searching so it was good for me to move on, but later when i was just staying at centers/places and enjoying staying there i learnt to not say too much and appear to conform, most people don't care as long as you don't rock the boat !

the only place i didn't have to do that was with toni packer and the springwater center, but she was genuinely enlightened . .  !

these other places with their  “pretend”  and fraudulent teachers are all just a house of cards and when one of the cards threatens the s t r u c t u r e  . .  !

that was a good question you asked, made me think and work through things a b i t . .

you having trouble with that group you sit with ?

----------------------

financially zen has collapsed to be replaced by the likes of batgap.com, one form of schizophrenia replaced by another !

i think the thing about  richard hart  is like personally i don't approve of him, that's why i left zen mountain/john loori, i didn't approve of him, where you have a guy in complete control like that and you don't approve then you have to move on !

kwan um zen is more diffuse and doesn't have the same control problems !

actually if you really take that hymie wyse   video  on board ,  you don't need zen at all  !  : o )

“ zero ”

w r i t e s

I'm doing extensive research on aspergers,  and completely believe   jennifer lawrence   has it

single attention, speech type, facial processing style, body position, hand gestures, eye contact, personality tempo, amongst other things

she would fit under the  ‘ actor ’  subtype  (coping style)

and is very similar to 3 of my aspergers friends.  any thoughts ?

my

r e p l y

she's very gender blurred, has a sort of male clarity of thinking which in my view  ( the gender blurring )  is definitive of autistic spectrum !

haven't seen her rocking in an unguarded moment but i would be expecting that

there's no actors or musicians not on autistic spectrum imo !!

lol you couldn't delete that post quick enough !  got it : o )

ed.  sepehr g.'s post in the section below this  ( bergson  >  etc )

actually it wasn't a bad post, why are you so sensitive ?

you don't reply to my replies you don't like and delete your own that you think reflect badly on you !

this is a harmless context to expose yourself, up your game and don't delete and dialogue more ! :o)

sepehr g.  w r i t e s

Bergson  >  Deleuze  >  Derrida  > > >  > > >  Badiou  >  Zizek

I like Derrida, but Henri Bergson and Deleuze are a bit better.  Badiou and Zizek suck.

my

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if you don't do your own work you are always going to be ranking others and unable to appreciate what each person offers !

you can be a sophisticated consumer but what does that do ? just an empty can rattling stones !

i am always very careful to use most of what i do for writing ! : o )(

chromium  and daily vitamin D3 helpful for diabetes !

eye changes are very indicative of blood sugar problems !

people successful in managing diabetes don't just rely on medicine, for instance there's a lot of disagreement about what dietary changes are effective !